Nicole King
2/17/2015 08:10:24 am
I think there called exemplary essay's because they have evidence that they can prove as well as a interested lead in.
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Nicole King
2/17/2015 09:14:03 am
Between the two essays it seemed exemplary because of how it led in to telling a true story and also because it shares a personal experience.
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Shea Saulino
2/17/2015 08:41:46 am
Both "Three Little Girls" and "Asian-American Privilege" are both examples of exemplary writing for two reasons. First, they tie their own personal experiences into their essay in a way that doesn't feel forced, and secondly they draw from their experiences a conclusion they could only achieve from looking through the lens of their past. I think these people both did an amazing job with constructing their history into an essay that clearly depicts the struggles (or lack thereof) they've faced in their lives.
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Jenna Welsh
2/17/2015 08:59:13 am
The paper "Asian-American Privilege" has really great word choice, and the reasoning and organization was great as well. I think that organization is one of the hardest parts about writing, so I really applaud that aspect of the paper.
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Jenna Welsh
2/17/2015 02:12:15 pm
I could also really feel the raw emotion and frustration from the piece, and I feel that it came from the strong words and sentences she used. I want to read her second ancillary!
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Christian Klosterman
2/17/2015 09:08:35 am
Reading both of these essays were very easy for me. They both flowed amazingly, probably because of the word choices and the overall sentence organization. They also seemed to be heart-felt and honest which made me see what they meant much clearer.
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Kaeli Leoni
2/17/2015 09:17:24 am
Both ancillaries flow extremely well and use a very eloquent word choice. Every sentence is worded perfectly and flows right into the next, making it easy and interesting to read. They also address their points respectfully like in Asian American Privilege when she is talking about how it bothers her how people associate her smartness with her race.
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Ryan Cormack
2/17/2015 09:33:46 am
I love the personal connection to the topics both ancillaries, as it makes the topic a lot more interesting to read. It also distinguishes them from other ancillaries, making it very memorable. The sentence structure in both also make it very easy to read and the topic at hand builds up very gracefully.
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Kayla Feather
2/17/2015 09:36:07 am
Both essays flowed and told a story. They were easy to read and it was clear what their opinion/thesis was. I loved how personal it was and tell a personal story is sometimes had to do and to also make people understand that story.
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camila antonorsi
2/17/2015 10:35:59 am
Both essays had a good choice of wording. It flowed nicely had a great lead in and was organized perfectly. I also really liked the personal connection and how the author explains the difference is very peachy.
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Chandler Gaines
2/17/2015 10:38:16 am
These two peices were very well thought out and well versed. They supported all claims and were very descriptive with showing not telling writing.
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Tristan Elghoroury
2/17/2015 10:40:32 am
These two essays were both exemplary because they were clear, flowed well, and had feeling in them that would draw the reader in,especially if the reader shared the same race as the author. In the first essay little examples, like how one of the author's friends lived by a liquor store while she had a bigger house with a big back yard, show us how racism and disadvantages still linger for many minorities. The main parts seem like they have been destroyed but many small factors add up and make a large gap between different racial groups.
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Chloe R
2/17/2015 10:59:06 am
They are both clear coherent tales. An example of this is in "Three girls." How she starts by telling you of her introduction to race, and then transitions into how her thoughts surrounding race shaped her growing up and affect her life today.
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Emily Dingman
2/17/2015 11:20:21 am
They were both good examples by the way they flowed, how they where written and how easy it was for me to imagine the issues that were taking place as they where described.
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Alexis Habib
2/17/2015 11:27:21 am
Some of the reasons that I believe the two essays are sample material is that they mold words in such a way that captures the readers attention, and that they are well thought out and structured. They each have a story that weaves a little bit of the writer into the words.
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Kevin Stiemke
2/17/2015 11:36:21 am
I felt that both of these essays flowed very well, and I think that both of the essays are exemplary, because they both tell a clear story, and it just seems really interesting in the way the writing is arranged. It was cool in the first one how she was comparing herself to her friends.
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Eamonn McGuiness
2/17/2015 12:08:38 pm
I feel that this is a fine example of fantastic work because in the first essay it related it to their life very well. Also it was very long. Although quantity is not everything this essay had both quality and quantity.
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Morgan King
2/17/2015 12:33:56 pm
I thought that these two examples were written very well, in that they flowed quite well. I thought that it was great to read something that connected to the author, but it was also written in a way that makes the reader connect in some kind of way.
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Dylan L
2/17/2015 12:39:07 pm
These writings are examples of exemplary work because they are very well crafted. "Three Little Girls" used some amazing sentence structure, word choice, and had a beautiful flow. "Asian-American Privilege" conveyed a very well supported and well written view on privilege. Both are very good ancillaries, and I would like to read the authors' second ancillaries.
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Sarah Lockhart
2/17/2015 12:41:03 pm
I think that both the ancillaries were amazing because of how personal they were. They were thought out and told stories of their lives and how they were personally affected. They are both great writes and used strong vocabulary and all of the paragraphs flowed well.
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Mikayla Kricfalusi
2/17/2015 12:41:55 pm
These two ancillaries are examples of exemplary work because they show proper word choice and tell a story that keeps the reader engaged. In the first ancillary, there is a distinctive flow between the introduction and the body paragraphs, where the author continues to tell the story she introduced in the first paragraph. She uses concrete evidence and keeps her writing deeply personal.
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Hunter Birk
2/17/2015 12:46:16 pm
Both pieces of writing are exemplary because they touch on personal experience and had near flaw-less sentence structure. They both paint a clear image of whats happening and there beliefs.
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Abby Elliott
2/17/2015 12:50:16 pm
Both of the example stories were excellent reads in that the authors shared poignant examples of race in their lives.
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Abby
2/17/2015 12:51:31 pm
The stories also flowed sentence by sentence with ease.
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Piper Tompkins
2/17/2015 01:02:51 pm
I think they are both exemplary because they both have a clear story, and the vocabulary use is impeccable. Both of the thesis have make it clear what the paper is going to be about. They are both extremely diverse but both are extremely well written.
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Both the essays are exemplary is because there voice is carried through the entire essay. It shows because this was a personal view on the subject in which all there points we're easily understood. They had a solid fluidity throughout there writing and it was very easy to follow their writing.
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Niklas Wenz
2/17/2015 01:59:25 pm
In my opinion these two essays are exemplary because they both consider personal experience and connect them to the main question.
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Emily Hayashida
2/17/2015 02:03:21 pm
"Three Little Girls" was beautifully written. The 6+1 Writing traits were visible, especially sentence fluency and voice. When reading you could tell how much time the author put into the story and you could hear her voice and opinion. The reflection on how it has impacted strengthened the piece. It is truely exemplary work!
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Jackson Sjogren
2/17/2015 02:06:04 pm
They are exemplary because they had every thing you look for in good writing. Great word choice, proper punctuation, great organization, and an underlining message that meant something.
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Nicole Matteson
2/17/2015 02:16:34 pm
Each essay had exemplary word choice and was organized in a clear and understandable/pleasing manner. Their voice was prominent and you could tell each essay was personal. Although it was personal, they kept their essays professional
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Justin Reyes
2/17/2015 03:13:16 pm
These are both exemplary since they flow well and provide a great word choice. They had a personal connection throughout the essays which made points understandable.
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TJ
2/17/2015 04:04:41 pm
They both share a lot of common ground in terms of what makes them good. For the most part it's the word choice (no overuse of filler words) and has a lot of good sentence flow. In addition it has a lot of good sentence flow.
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Chenoa Levy
2/17/2015 04:40:40 pm
Both essays flowed well and had a clear thesis. They were easy to understand with no confusion. I also think they were written in a very personable, but still intelligent manner. You can clearly see the voice in each essay which made it much more interesting to read. Also had great use of vocabulary.
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Grant
2/17/2015 04:56:31 pm
They are exemplary because they connect to real world with personal stories. They were also very clear and had alot of evidence.
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Eli Murguia
2/17/2015 05:32:09 pm
These were such well written essays for multiple reasons and on many levels. One of the main reasons why I think that these were exemplary essays was because of their strong personal connections.
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Nadir O
2/17/2015 08:13:59 pm
Both pieces of writing were excellent, these couldn't have been written any better. They both had me hooked at the beginning and kept me hooked throughout. It was straight to the point, clear, and very personal. If anything, the fact that they dug deeper into themselves to find a personal connection for this essay makes it a whole lot better.
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Nadir O
2/17/2015 08:14:45 pm
*these essays
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Michele Moua
2/17/2015 08:47:54 pm
Both essays were simple and easy to ready, however they were professional, personal and held strong content and evidence that were told through a story. They both had an incredible flow and were strongly worded to help emphaize the points made in their essays.
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Matt Rose
2/17/2015 10:24:58 pm
I believe both essays are considered exemplary because they both use several personal experiences to back up their data and show the readers how and where they came to their conclusion.
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Jack Campbell
2/17/2015 11:05:47 pm
I believe that these were considered exemplary essays because they utilized key aspects of word choice, length, and organization that responded well and accurately to the prompt in addition to making it enjoyable to read and flow nicely. Each used interesting phrases and concepts, such as the use of the word envy ing the first one, to keep the reader engaged and reading.
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Isaac Fernandez
2/18/2015 12:12:56 am
I feel that these essays are considered exemplary, because they show the writers voice and are well written. For example, I know everyone wrote so far that the writers keep you engaged, they do. The first essay provides a lot of detail, when ever something is stated. I really thought that part where she is talking about how she envied her friends because they naturally had what she wanted. The way she wrote that sentence showed a lot of emotion, and the way it was written really showed how people think and operate. The "Asian-American Privilege" was really well written in total. It was very concise compared to the other paper. This wasn't necessarily from full personal perspective like the first one. It provided great information though that argued her thesis very well though. Both were very well written!! That's why they are exemplary.
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Srdja
2/18/2015 12:26:24 am
I think that I read two amazing essays. These are considered exemplary because those are written in cohesion and every sentence flow in following one. These also contain 6+1 way of writing. It attracts the audience and keep you entertain. Also they expressed their opinions and packed them with a lot of evidences. American-Asian one brought a really good point how the Asian struggles USA are often forgotten.
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I felt that both of the essays are considered exemplary because they both had great examples of their perspective. I felt that they both were very engaging and to the point it was very understandable to see what they were trying to say and I felt that they used very good wording to express their feelings
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Hesham
2/18/2015 02:02:41 pm
I feel like both of these essays should be considered exemplary because they both express the way the author feels, and I can see where they are coming from. They both had great language choices and they were well put together. That is why they are both exemplary.
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